Lessons I Have Learned: Break-ups and cheating

Generally when I have been engaged in a conversation with a woman who they themselves are in a relationship (some of you are wondering why, usually it’s because i’m wingman, no other reason), I usually ask how long they’ve been together, and occasionally get the response,”off and on for x amount of years.”  Upon further investigation (and several cocktails later) they divulge indiscretions they endured, either on their part or their boyfriend.  I always wonder why one stays with a person who cheats on them, or why continuous break-ups seem normal to some women. Here are some tips/suggestions/explanations.

Rule 1:  Don’t stay with someone who cheats on you.  All this does is create resentment.  You may forgive, but you never forget.  Every time your girlfriend rejects your advances, you think back to the time when she blew her ex-bf in the back of a bar for others to see.  Then when the opportunity arises, you end up cheating on her, to get her back.  However, you’re not smooth enough to get away with it, and she somehow flips it on you and makes you feel like it’s all your fault. Had she not faltered first, things would be fine. But that’s the Jedi Mind Trick that women play.

Rule #2: Once you break up, stay broken up.  This one’s more for the ladies.  He’ll never change.  Don’t try to change him.  Just because you buy him a new sweater and khakis from J Crew, doesn’t mean he’ll stop funnelling beers and judging wet t-shirt contests in Miami while you stay back in school working on your nursing degree.  I generally see this in very attractive girls with good looking guys.  Really good looking guys know they can get hot girls when they want, so if you leave them, they don’t care.  They are shallow, and will remain shallow, snaring themselves a trophy wife, while continuing to spoof their just as hot yet twice as slutty secretary, while the wife takes care of her spoiled brats.  If you break up, whatever the reason, it’ll never change… especially if the reason is his/her mother…

Rule #3: Men (and women) are only as faithful as their options.  This is not really a rule, but an observation.  It is very difficult for a man to ignore vagina when it is on the table, served with a side no commitment.  Generally, when men stray, it’s because their current relationship is lacking something.  This goes for women too, but women are more likely to end a relationship first before straying, or are more covert in their affairs that you don’t realize it.  But for men, if an attractive woman makes a sexual advance, and the man sees his current relationship on the out, he will generally accept the proposal, mainly for the fact that the relationship’s going to end anyways, might as well end it out on a bang (pun intended).  Men: you need to realize that women do the same.  If you’re not caring, or forget to complement her enough, be wary of her male office friend who notices her new perfume.  Soon she’ll be “working long nights and weekends”, while you hang with the boys, trying to act like you’re a player.  And her office friend?  He’s hung like a horse, if you were wondering…. which leads to my last rule…

Rule #4 Do everything your partner needs (not wants, needs).  If your woman needs a hug every night, give her a damn hug.  Ladies, if your man needs you to pump his junk every week, bust out the KY and hit it hard.  Notice how I said need, not want.  Wants are material possessions, needs are the emotional bonds that make a relationship.  Communicate with your partner and find out what they need, and do your best to give it to them.  But if you’re unable to either accept short-comings, or compromise, just admit that it won’t work and go your separate ways.  Better to end it than drag it out through painful experiences that leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.